A relationship is like a garden, if it is to strive it must be watered regularly, special care must be given; take into account the seasons as well as any unpredictable weather. New seeds must be sown and weeds must be pulled. Similarly, to keep the magic of love alive, we must understand its seasons and nurture love’s special needs.
The springtime of love
Falling in love is like springtime. We feel as though we will be happy forever. We can’t image not loving a partner. It is a time of innocence. Love seems eternal. It is a magic time when everything seems perfect and works effortlessly. Our partner seems to be the perfect fit. We effortless dance together in harmony and rejoice our good fortune.
The summer of love
Throughout the summer of love, we realize our partner is not as perfect as we thought. And we have to work on our relationship, not only is our partner from other planet, but e or she is also a human who makes mistakes and flawed in certain ways. Frustration and disappointment arise. Weeds need to be uprooted and plant need extra watering under the hot sun. It is no longer easy to give love and get the love we need. We discover that we are not always happy, and we do not always feel loving. It is not our picture of love. Many couples at this point become disillusioned. They do not want to work on a relationship. They unrealistically expect it to be spring all the time. They blame their partners and give up. They do not realize that love is not always easy; sometimes requires hard work under a hot sun. In the summer season of love, we need to nurture our partner’ needs, as well as ask for and get the love we need. It doesn’t happen automatically.
The autumn of love
As result of tending the garden during the summer, we get to harvest results of our hard work. Fall has come. It is a golden time--- rich and fulfilling. We experience a more mature love that accepts and understands our partner’s imperfections as well as our own. It is a time of thanksgiving and sharing. Having worked hard during the summer, we can relax and enjoy the love we have created.
The winter of love
Then weather changes again, and winter comes. During the cold barren months of winter, all of our nature pulls back within itself. It is a time of rest, refection, and renewal. It is a time and relationships we experience only unresolved pain or our shadow self. It is when our lid comes off and our painful feeling emerge. It is a time of solitary growth when who need to look more to ourselves than to our partners for love and fulfillment. It is a time of healing, This is the time when men hibernate in their caves and women sink to the bottom of their wells.
After loving and healing ourselves through the dark winter of love, then spring inevitably returns. Once again, we are blessed with the feeling of hope, love and an abundance of possibilities. Based on our inner healing and soul searching of our winter journey, we are then able to open our hearts, and feel springtime of love.
